Baby News

2004-11-26T13:01:00.000-08:00

2004-11-26T11:57:00.000-08:00

greetings and salutations. as you can tell a lot has happened since my last entry. so shall we begin? too bad we are going to anyways. hah.

LABOR
wednesday morning i woke up around 9am with really bad contractions. they were about a minute long and happening like clockwork every 5 minutes or so. it was soooooooo uncomfortable. but i just kept it to myself. i started to keep track of them but just stayed in my room and beared with them. so then jer comes over like he normally does around 115pm. and i tell him about it. so he watches me as i go through this. so then around 2pm i get hungry and we work our way downstairs to get food. i stop off in my mom's room on our way and give her the list of all the contractions. she asks what is it and i tell her then i leave. she was on the phone at the same time. so we go downstairs. so i'm getting some cereal when my mom comes downstairs with the tablet. she tells my dad thats she's gonna take a shower and for my dad to call auntie ellen. my dad asks why. i'm still just getting my food. my mom says that i've been in labor since 9am. WTF?? i have? oh.. heh. oops. so my mom takes a shower. dad tries to call auntie ellen and jer and i finish eating. then we make sure i'm all packed up. poor jermiah. he didn't know what to do with himself. he was going crazy. i called krysten, the np from planned parenthood, and see what she thinks we should do cause auntie ellen hadn't answered our page. she said to go ahead and go to the hospital. they will check me out and see what needs to be done. ok by me. so we start calling some ppl and give them a heads up. so then jer goes home. i get into the beemer and go with dad to the hospital and mom and jac and jay are to follow shortly after. so dad and i get to the hospital and head upstairs. as we are walking towards the maternity ward dad's phone rings. its mom. jac got a flat on the way there. hah. luckily jay was with them to change the tire. so i sign papers and get put in an exam room. they check me out and i'm still only dialated to 1cm. sheesh. but i am having labor pains/contractions. they keep me monitored for a couple of hours. mom, jac, jay, evil and pat arrive. they called pat and evil and told them i was at the hospital and they came to check me out. they even beat jac and them to the hospital. and they were called after they fixed the tire and were near the hospital. they stopped off for gas and stuff and evil and pat beat them. heh. auntie ellen was checking in on me from the time i arrived to. since nothing was happening as of yet she went home. we told her we'd call her if anything happened. the monitors that were in the exam room were being retarded so they moved me to a room that actually had the monitors working. then after a couple of hours the midwife came around and checked me out. still hadn't dialated. she could feel the baby's head but it still seemed high, like dr hannig had said last week. but its still too early to decide anything she said. and i wasn't dialate far enough to admit me. so they gave me a shot of morphin to help with the pains. ouch..why didn't anyone tell me that morphin burns when its injected. oh man. so after that mom, dad and i went to eat at olive garden. esp since i hadn't eaten anything except the cereal. i didn't eat fettucine alfredo. can you believe it? hehe. i didnt want anything too heavy cause i was getting drowsy from the morphin and tired just from everything that had happened. so i ordered the stuffed chicken marsala. it was good. so then we came home. oh man..i had an exorcist episode. all of sudden i felt like i had to throw up. then i kinda did in my mouth..as i headed to the bathroom i just shot it all out. i had projectile and everything. the amount of food i ate and the morphin didn't mix well. man i got it all over the bathroom and in the toilet..and i only had 4 spouts of it. my poor mom had to clean it up for me. even she made the reference to the exorcist. after awhile of relaxing and chatting i went to bed.

thursday was a little better. i was still having contractions but they weren't as close together. so obviously my labor is continuing. i had a drs appt at 1145am. so mom took me cause i was in no condition to drive. so we went. my weight stayed the same. hah. krysten checked me out and i was dialated to almost 2cm nows. good grief. i still got 8 cms to go. so she told me what to look out for. so on our way home from the drs we stopped by kfc. had a weird contraction there though. i had 1 where it only affected my back, not my front at all. but that was the only one. who knows. so we took it home and mom, jay, jer and i ate. jac came home from watching lolo but she wasn't hungry and dad came home from grandpa domil's funeral but he ate at the reception. the contractions continued. i ate dinner around 6pm. and about 830pm the contractions kinda got harder. so my mom called cheryl and let her know. cheryl was at pechanga with her family and what not. so she came down around 11pm. so cousin monitored my contractions for me, since i had been using jer and jane to tell me how long they were happening during our chat and they went to bed. so then around midnight we decided to head to the hospital. the pains were getting worse. and it was hurting my back and body. i rode with dad and mom and cousin rode in cousin's car. so dad and i went to the emergency room so we can get a wheelchair. so as dad rolled me to the 4th floor i was dying. i actually had some tears form this time. so they put me in an exam room. the nurse checked me out. the monitors were showing major contractions. they got the on call midwife to check me out. i had progressed to 2cm. almost 3 cms. she could feel the baby's head but it still was too high. so they went ahead and admitted me. man i was dying. the contractions were so hard. and it was killing my lower back like no other. so the 4 of us were in the room. i was admitted around 2am and put into the room. the next couple of hours were hell. i was hurting constantly. and it was affecting my sciatic nerve. so i was hurting not only in front, in my lower back but my right leg was tightening and cramping up too. then around 5am i started getting contractions that felt like i was being stabbed. then around 545am the nurse came in and said that i was being taken in for a c-section. that the dr decided to go ahead and go through with it. while they were prepping me they checked to see how far i was dialated and i was only at 3cm. so for 45 hrs i was in labor but only dialated to 3cm. WTF?!!?!! so then the calls started as the nurse started to get me ready for the OR. dad, mom and cousin were all on the phone. they called auntie ellen and let her know and she said she was on her way in. so the nurse finished putting in my IV. it was in my wrist. that was something i wasn't expecting. cousin let my mom go into the OR with me since i'm allowed one person in there with me. so my mom started to get ready and put on the scrubs. you could tell everyone was getting excited. i was excited but at the same time i was like..hurry up and take this kid out of me. just as they were gonna take me out towards the OR nikki showed up. so she got to see me before i delivered.

Delivery
so around 615am i'm rolled into the OR. at first i'm introduced to the nurses who will be involved with the surgery. then i meet the anestesiologist (sp?). he was amusing. so after signing my life away i'm taken into the actual room. so they get me ready for the epidural. if you dont know what exactly it is, its the anesthesia that is shot into your spine with big needles. unfortunately i'm still contracting really hard. but the nurses were cool. they helped me handle the contractions and get my back ready for the epidural even though they were happening simultaneously. unfortunately one of the shots didn't take well. so they had to give it to me again. so instead of 2 shots i had 3. ANG SAKIT!! so then it starts kickin in. that was odd. imagine feeling your body from your chest bone downwards all go numb. you feel the pins and needles effect all through your body and arms and legs. then they put the oxygen mask on me. that was not good. i was soooo tired and whatnot and with the numbing sensation going through my body i started to get really sleepy. they had to keep telling my to open my eyes cause i kept closing them. then my mom was brought in by auntie ellen. auntie ellen got permission to come in on her day off to deliver aja. that was cool. so she was helping them prep me up and what not. then i felt the surgeon moving my body. they had told me that they were putting the iodine and what not. so the whole time i thought thats what i thought they were doing. the next thing i knew i heard her cry and them say its a girl. my mom was all "its really a girl" heh. everything happened so quickly. my mom and auntie ellen were taking pictures for me during the delivery since i'm kinda sedated and my view is blocked by a sheet that they put up. the dr called her time of birth at 6:40am. my mom said "oh she was born at 6:38am" pointing at me. the dr jokingly says "sorry i tried to hurry as fast as i could" hehe. i had a cool staff for my surgery. so then the nurses kinda cleaned up aja while the drs cleaned me up and sewed me back together..gee i feel like humpty dumpty. then they brought her over to me so i could at least see her. being that i was in surgery they had tied my arms down so i couldn't touch her. i vaguely remember looking at her. if you had asked me right after that what she looked like i wouldn't have been able to tell you. so they took my mom and aja to the nursery for all the weighing and what not. then i was taken to recovery. oh man that sucked. i'm not one for being alone, let alone with little noise around. i was the only patient in recovery for like the first hour or so. i was in the recovery for 2 hours. that was odd too. i thought i was moving my feet. like i could feel my feet move but when i looked, it wasn't moving at all. and i'm sure ya'll know how it feels when your foot starts to wake up after falling asleep. thats how i felt over my entire body. so then finally they transported me to my room. when i got to the doors to get into the pediatrics unit, there were too many births at the same time as mine that they ran out of room in the maternity ward, i saw my dad open the doors then i saw uncle mon then jermiah. then they took me into the room and got me situated. then my mom brought me aja for the first time. i was finally able to hold her almost 3 hours after her birth. auntie marie and auntie lina were there too. so of course with jermiah with my camera and uncle mon with his i had flashes going off around me from the time i was in the hallway being brought towards the room and when i got to hold her for the first time. just after they got me situated with aja armida walked into the room. on her way to work she stopped by real quick just to see us. so then armida, uncle mon, auntie marie, and auntie lina went to work. mom and dad went home to get some sleep and jermiah stayed with me and aja for a couple of hours.

the hospital stay
around 2ish cousin returned after getting some sleep after being with me during the night and the labor. she also had babysitting duty. cause i had a c-section i couldn't do much for myself. so i had to have someone with me at all time. so cousin agreed to have first duty. hehe. so she was there and jermiah left. dad also came back for awhile. later jermiah came back for a bit and april showed up. so then jer and april left. i could barely move. i had some pains but i was still under the epidural too. oh man that night was AAAUUGGGHH!!! i'm a new mom, cousin isn't a mom and we had to go through the first night with a newborn alone. it was chaos. we couldn't get aja to really sleep. she was killing my boobs when she ate cause that girl has REALLLLLLYYY good sucking reflexes. cousin was tired, i hadn't slept since wednesday night so we were both really fatigued. i kept dozing off during the feedings or just holding her. after awhile cousin took her from me cause i was getting frustrated. so cousin tried to let me sleep and only wake me up when aja needed to be feeded. but i couldn't sleep cause i was in a sitting type position. so not the fun the night.

the next day dad came early and relieved cousin. so dad stayed with me. around 8am one of the surgeons and auntie ellen came by to see me. auntie was checking in on us before she went into work. the surgeon removed my bandage on my stitches. she said it looked good. in a bit i would have the cathader (sp??) removed then i would have to get up and walk around some today. and then get real food. i hadn't eaten since thursday at 6pm. and now its saturday around 8am. then later my nurse came in and removed the cathater and gave me some apple juice to hold me over. yayee!! well lunch time came and they kinda forgot about me. so my dad went to the cafeteria and got me some meat loaf and mashed potatoes. it was good. while i was eating nikki and inang came to visit. while they were there cristen and larry came by. then cousin, corey, corey jr and cody came to visit too. so i had a full room. heh. when nikki and inang went to leave for some reason inang called aja "kristina". wth? then when i said no she called her "aja marie" again no. sheesh. so then cristen and larry left also. then jac came. she had afternoon duty with me. then cousin and the guys left. so then they brought me my dinner. guess what it was...meat loaf and mashed potatoes. hahaha. then mom came for night duty. i got to take a shower. yayee!! that felt so good. hadn't showered since thursday around 10am. but i couldn't cause of the surgery and what not. grace and rodney came by to visit too. tonight was a lot easier. esp since my mom has had 2 kids of her own. also aja was a lot calmer than last night. we did realize she loves to sleep on top of a pillow. and she really loves her pacifier that cousin got last night from the nurses. i was able to kinda sleep for the first time for a couple of hours straight.

mom was really tired. so she called dad to come and relieve her. dad arrived around 8am. i was in the middle of eating my breakfast: eggs, french toast, bagel, and rice krispies that i ended up just taking home with me. the surgeon came in again and checked me out and said that i could probably go home tomorrow. i said "tomorrow?" she asked me if i wanted to go home today and of course i said yes. so she said ok. she said i should be discharged around 11am then. yayee!!! since that was in a couple of hours my mom just stayed. my dad kept an eye on aja while my mom and i took naps. then i got up and took a shower. the pediatrician came and took a final look at aja. then we changed her into her clothes to go home. after everything was said and done and all the paperwork was done with we left the hospital around 1230pm.

the week so far....
before we went home home we stopped by lolo's so he can see her since he couldn't go the hospital. when we got there uncle rolly and mellvin were there too. so we showed lolo aja and he got all excited. he kept smiling and patting her hand. then we told him to get up so we can take a picture and he shot up so he can hold her. hah. go lolo. auntie marie and uncle mon came over to pick up inang for uncle santy's party so they were playing with aja too. so after all the pictures were taken we came home. its so nice to be home.when we got home nikki was waiting here for us. later that night jermiah came over. then annie and cuong came to see aja for the first time. that night was hell though. i guess i moved around too much when i got home. in the middle of the night...luckily i had aja in the bed with me....but she started to cry and when i moved to tend to her my entire body tensed up. i couldn't move. so the both of us were crying and screaming. i was calling for my mom. but i had mistakenly closed my door so my screams were muffled. eventually my mom heard and came over and saw what had happened. so she took aja to calm her down while my dad helped me move and sit up. that was hell.

the next day nana and tata came over to visit. their first great-grandchild. nana is finally "big nana". so she's aja's "little big nana"hah. on tuesday teresa and clare came over to visit. unfortunately as they were leaving we all when into hectic mode. suddenly aja spit up blood. so we had to take her to the emergency room at palomar. that was freaky. but after about 5 hours of being there, it was diagnosed that she may have just swallowed my blood while in the womb and when she was ready she spit it up. its a common thing..but not that common. there are about 12 cases a year or so that they see of this happening. sheesh girl give us a heart attack. then on wednesday christa and rj came to visit too. that night was freaky too.again aja spit up blood. but it was real quick. and it was right after feeding her. so we checked me and sure enough i had blood. she sucked me so hard that she was causing me to bleed and we didn't know it. then later while i was pumping my milk i started to bleed again. so we are now gonna only pump my milk for her. she's no longer gonna feed of me directly. and just in case we've also put her on formula. luckily the hospital had given us a free can of formula. so she's gonna be on both from now on. then while we were sleeping out of no where i woke up freezing. i woke up shivering and my teeth chattering. and i was completely covered in pjs and sweats and under my blankets. my parents had to come and try to warm me up cause i was soo cold. i felt like i was lying in ice. no explanantion. geez.

drs appt
aja had her first drs appt. everything is good. she apparently grew 2 inches. so now she's 19 inches long. when we were discharged she had lost 7oz from her birth weight of 6lbs 8oz. but she gained 4oz back. so thats good. they gave her a hepatitis b shot though. she was cranky the rest of the day. poor baby.

thanksgiving
well yesterday we celebrated her first thanksgiving. we had both sides of the family here. so of course my daughter was passed around like a hot potato. it was the first time just about everyone got to see her. so everyone was going ga ga over her. and she slept through most of it. but when she did wake up we let everyone see her big eyes. there was a texas holdem tourney in the garage. it lasted like 4 hours. finally it was just split up btwn john, uncle rolly and nikki. they all got too tired of playing. sheesh. but overall it was a good thanksgiving.

its weird. i still can't believe she's here and that she's mine. i mean for the last 9 months she was just an idea or something pending. and now she's here and in existance. she's still very tiny. she's so small yet she couldn't fit into the birth canal. go figure. but its been an interesting week and i' m sure it will be an interesting journey as she grows and gets older.

til we meet again

2004-11-21T11:54:00.000-08:00

i'm here!!

2004-10-31T10:06:00.000-08:00

its been a busy couple of weeks. as to be expected. i'm already 37 weeks, which is 9 months and 1 week. yeah we actually carry the baby for 10 months. aches and pains galore. she's seemed to have found my right siatic nerve. she's been killing my right side on and off. not only do i waddle like a damn duck but i have a limp type strut cause my right side is hurting. at one point my knee was bent but it felt like it was trying to lock cause she was leaning so much on my nerve. that was kinda weird. grr.

the drs appts have ok. had one where they ran tests for strept virus and other infections that would cause a problem during delivery. but i came out negative. so thats good. they checked to see if i had started to dialate. i had only dialated to 0.5 cm. so i still got time. my weight is funny. i had finally gained all 13lbs that i had lost. then the next week i lost a pound. then the next week i had gained 3.5 lbs. but i'm finally gaining. i've surpassed my starting weight. im interested in finding out how much i'll lose when i delivery. cause i'll be losing more than just the baby's weight when i deliver. it would be interesting if i could wear my regular clothes when i get discharged. i think i'll pack, which i still need to do, both maternity pants and my own regular pants. and see which i could wear when i leave the hospital. hah.

we had the babyshower. which was a success. we had like 140 ppl attend. had a lot of food. everyone loved the food. we had ppl tell us that they didn't really eat for a couple of days after cause they were sooo full from the shower. hah. so many gifts. it took 2.5 hours to open them all. and it wasn't like i was lingering on any of them. saw who gave it to me, opened, showed it off, then off to the next one. got a lot of cool stuff though. still got stuff to get. like the bare necessities: shampoo, soap, toothbrush, etc. but other than that we seem to be good to go.

now its just weekly drs appt to monitor my blood pressure. this late in the game, some women get high blood pressure. i'm ok so far. been really constant since the beginning. and just a matter of waiting for this kid to pop out.

there seems to be dreams started about my delivery. hah cheryl dreamt that i delivered and we couldn't get a hold of her and when she did get to the hospital the baby was walking already. wth?? my dreamt that i delivered a boy instead of a girl. and grace also dreamt i delivered a boy. and both my mom and grace didn't tell eachother til after both of them had had the dream. hmm interesting. maybe it is a boy. haha.

well til the next time i update.

2004-10-07T09:29:00.000-07:00

well its been a busy time since the last time i blogged. drs appts and prepping the room for ms. aja. its already been told to me that i no longer have a room. from this point on its her room and i just happen to share with her. and for the most part thats true now. ive never had a girlie girl room and now i do. after a lot of work of trying to pack up my room with he help of nikki and jermiah we got a good portion of it done. then on one weekend auntie marie, uncle mon, auntie tita, auntie azon and jermiah came over. we totally packed up my room and moved everything but the bed out and began to paint the room the multitude of colors chosen. the ceiling is a mint light green. then the walls are alternating in a pastel lilac, yellow and blue. my mom put up a precious moments border along the top of the walls that her and jac bought. the next weekend uncle mon came back and painted the floor boards and the door frames. jer and uncle mon brought up the furniture and what not back into the room. we still didn't have any real baby furniture yet.

the girls from target gave me baby shower.that was cool of them. got some cute clothes and what not. started to send out invites for the family and friends baby shower party. dang we sent out a lot of invites. but we know a lot of them won't be joining us cause we sent out to family in jersey and the east coast as well as the bay area.

drs appts have been pretty standard. just check my vitals and listen to her heartbeat. which is nice. as of my vitals yesterday at the doctors, i finally gained all the weight i had lost. so ive gained the 13lbs that i had originally lost the first 5-6 months of this pregnancy. so i'm back to my starting weight when i found out i was pregnant. heh. and several of don't think that i'll be giving birth in november like planned. we think this kid is gonna make her debut in the world sometimes this month. sometime in the next few weeks. we are hoping she waits at least til after the babyshower. cause we haven't bought anything. last night my parents met up with carmen and bought the crib and mattress compliments of nana and tata. pictures

2004-08-29T16:53:00.000-07:00
well now begins my every 2 weeks appts. i'm in my 7th month now. wow doesn't feel like its been 7 months already. but it has. and we before we know it, i'll be delivery. dang.

so i went to the doctors on thursday. had to fast to take the glucose test again. the glucose doesn't taste that bad. it tastes like orange crush kinda. but it leaves such a cotton mouth afterwards. not to mention you have 5 minutes to drink a 20oz bottle of it. so i did that then they took my vitals. blood pressure is good. weight is getting up there finally. i'm only 4lbs away from my starting weight. so from the 13lbs i had lost the first 2 trimesters ive finally started to gain 9lbs of it back. and generally we gain around 20lbs for the pregnancy. so i still got some weight to gain. not cool. but necessary. i am getting bigger though. there is no disputing my belly is growing. but yeah. so anyways. had one lil snafu. they found protein in my urine. which means that it could 1 of a few things: 1)not enough fluids in my system (which i think its this one) 2) its a precursor/foreshadowing that my blood pressure will go up in the next few weeks (which isnt good) 3)i may have a UTI (urinery tract infection) 4)...i knew there was a fourth..hmm. oh well. so they tried to look at the sample under the microscope, and the light burnt out. so then they got another bulb and when they went to look at my sample again, it burnt out. my mom says "you must have some potent urine" haha. so then i had to give another sample after the glucose test to send to the lab. so anyways. after the vitals and first sample i was put in my room. the nurse practioner listened for the heartbeat. aja kept moving around. ahha. finally after awhile we found her heartbeat and she stayed relatively still. damn her heartbeat was hella loud. but its strong. thats good. then the np checked me to make sure that there are no signs that i might go into premature labor. i won't go into details on that one. just thinking of it makes me cringe. so then i chilled in the waiting room waiting for my hour wait btwn drinking the glucose and the test to hurry up and be over with already. finally the timer went off and i was taken back into the vitals room. at first they had trouble finding a vein to draw the blood. which is pretty normal for me and my mom and sis. after much trying and figuring it out, the managed to get a small vein. so they took the first vial for the hemoglobin, which i don't know what its for. then during the second vial my blood didn't want to come out. but then after some pressure it started to flow again. so they got the 2 vials, i gave the new urine sample then i was on my way home.

welp now begins the preparation. gonna start fixing up the room for the baby. gonna be buying new furniture and what not.

2004-08-07T23:33:00.000-07:00
wow its been a long time since i blogged here.

july
well this drs appt was kinda nerve racking. it started off simple enough. i finally gained weight. haha. so after my vitals i told the nurse about my episodes at costco and at work. so she wrote a note in my chart. so when i saw the dr we talked about it. i swear i get more info and assistance out of the nurse practioners than the ob/gyns. she told me that they may be due to the fact that my blood volume is doubling to take care of me and the baby. and for the swelling its cause im on my feet. it might be too much pressure on my body. see..why couldn't the damn ob/gyn tell me this stuff. grr. so she tried to listen for the heartbeat. we ran into some problems. the machine was able to count the heartbeats but we couldn't hear them. it was stressing out the np. so she said that if we didn't find it they would send to the hospital to be hooked up to better machines to hear it. its not that anything was wrong its just that the baby was being stubborn. hah. great. just like her father. anyhoo. so finally the np decided to give me some juice to maybe stimulate the baby since i haven't eaten yet. but they didn't have any juice so they gave me a & w rootbeer. hah. that got her going. when they tried again to hear the heartbeat we found it and it was strong. but oddly enough all the other times we found the heartbeat it was on my right hand side. this time it was on my left. she flipped over. hah. and the np got to feel her move. i didnt feel her move. but oh well.

august
jermiah got to go with me to my appt this time. that was cool since i've been going alone all this time. i gained 2 more lbs. and ironically the baby weighs 2 lbs now. haha. the np measured me and a little over 24inches in diameter and we need to be at least 24inches. so i'm good to go. i hope that means that they won't have to do any incisions when i go to give birth..ewww. shiver. jer got to hear the aja's heartbeat though. so thats cool. he got to hear her gallop..haha. it was a real short appt.

update
well since my last entry she's been moving around a lot in me. jer's felt her before. we bought a prenatal monitor from target.com. its to hear the baby's heartbeat and other internal sounds.when we first got it we tried listening to it with a house full of ppl cause my cousins from jersey, pasadena, castro valley, and the diego cousins were all here. and fricken marc is just too damn loud. so we had trouble listening cause all we could hear was marc. but when we finally did get the chance to have some peace and quiet and listen we did find her heartbeat. then she's hit the monitor. hah. so it sounded like a galloping horse then a sudden thump. hahah.

jer also bought her her first real gifts. he bought her a yellow pj with bears on it saying "peek-a-boo" and a precious moments birth certificate pillow. we fill out the info when she's born. so that was really cool. mom has started to crochet a blanket for aja. she's getting excite more day after day. ahha. i swear i think jer and mom are more excited than me. hahah.

started to pick the ninongs cause mom wants me to announce them at the baby shower. we've started to work on the baby shower too. dang. i'm 6 months pregnant already. dang. tonight we set up the target gift registry for the baby shower. dang there is so much that we had to put on there..and its stuff that we need. like car seats, bouncers, blankets, bottles, etc. wow so much. and that doesn't even really cover the clothes and what not.

im getting fatter now. it sticks out in front of me now. sometimes its really visible in some outfits.but not as visible in others. i've started to wear maternity pants. yeah not thrilled about that. but i guess i should be happy cause cora, girl at work who is due 9 days before me, is twice as big as i am. and i heard that johanna has gained like 10 lbs already and she's due 5 days before me. so i'm content with my 4lbs. aha.

well thats my update on the baby front. til we meet again

2004-06-21T19:56:00.000-07:00
went and had my first sonogram today...here are the pictures we got to take home...from all indications so far..ITS A GIRL!!

her feet..hehe

her..face down..seems like she has a long torso

according to the tech, this was suppose to be her face..uh i don't think so..but oh well.

2004-06-12T11:56:00.000-07:00
well yesterday was my drs appt. i finally got to meet dr hannig. he's a short guy. he seems pretty cool though. barely talked to him. it was a really quick appt too. he came in and introduced himself. then listened to the baby's heartbeat then he was done. dang. i did talk to him about the late night phone call i made to him on the 2nd. i had to make a late night call cause when i would attempt to go to the bathroom my lower abdomen would constrict and really hurt and inhibit me from peeing. it really hurt. he ordered lab work up for me so i tried for over a week to get a hold of the clinic to get to the lab. but to no avail. so i brought it up at the appt cause i over heard him telling a nurse outside my door to order lab work up for someone with what i had called him about. so when i brought it up he said it wasn't me it was someone else. hmm. but he said mine was just probably my bladder leaning on my uterus and since it's not used to it, thats why i'm in pain. hmm.i guess. if he's gonna blow it off i guess there is nothing i can do about it.

on the 21st i'll go in for my ultrasound. i wonder what we'll see. i wonder if we can see the sex of the baby...cross fingers!! on thursday we started to tell my dad's family about the baby at nikki's bday celebration. everyone seemed ok with it. and they all want a boy too!!! yayee!!! everyone pray and cross your fingers. hah. well mom is at a meeting right and she's gonna tell my nana later today.. good luck to us.

til we meet again

2004-05-24T19:53:00.000-07:00
wow its been awhile since i've updated here about the baby.

well things with quan don't seem to be getting any better. just when i think he's coming around...then all of sudden we are right back where we started. i can't really blame him though. we never planned on having a kid together..esp after we broke up. but it just seems as though he's not trying to be understanding of how i feel or how i believe. although i guess i can't really get mad since he never really made that effort when we were to together either. anyhoo.

well today was kinda surreal. somewhat along the lines of when i found out i was pregnant in the first place. but i had my monthly prenatal appt today. during the vitals we have to weigh me. duh..but again my weight has dropped. so the nurse took me and did my vitals. she weighed me and i was 180lbs. wtf? my last appt i was listed as 187.6. so i lost almost another 8lbs. i swear i'm eating. its not like i'm starving or anything. granted i can barely eat before i get full but i'm eating nonetheless. during this time i have to do the "pee in cup" thing so the can test that for other stuff. so after my vitals i went back out into the waiting room til the nurse practioner was ready for me. so then after awhile they got me again and put me in a room. so i'm chilling waiting for the np when she comes in. her name was monique. she seemed really cool. so she looks at my chart and tells me that she has to weigh me again. it seems the nurse only wrote 18 instead of 180. good job. so we go and monique puts it at 180 cause thats what i told her it was and that was slightly too heavy. huh? i don't get it. so she kinda messes with it to finally it stops at 179.5lbs. huh?wth?wtf? i managed to lose half a pound.gee wiz. dang. dang. so yeah. so it goes that i weighed 186lb before getting pregnant, my first month i gained 4 lbs. 2nd month i lost 2.4lbs. and in 3rd month i lost another 8lbs. i swore i was suppose to gain weight when i'm pregnant. i asked monique about that and she said not to worry. that generally we gain from about 15-20 lbs during the pregnancy. and i still have about another 20 or so weeks. and as the baby grows i'll begin to gain weight. so yeah. so that was that about my vitals.

then i told her that is there any way to find out anything about the baby. i mean except for being told i was pregnant and now my stomach is slightly starting to grow there really hasn't been anything to tell me i'm pregnant. i've been tired and i get nauseated every so often but thats it. still no morning sickness, which is fine with me, or anything else. she said yeah we are gonna hear the baby's heartbeat today. WTF? i thought that got cancelled cause they had to cancel my appt with the actual delivering doctor last friday cause he got put on call at the hospital. i guess not. so then she started to feel around my stomach to determine kinda the general size and location of the baby. she was able to determine that its 3 fingers south of my belly button. well at least now i know where this peanut is. hah. then she put the machine on my stomach and i started to hear the sounds of my stomach. that was weird. never heard that before. then she pointed out my heartbeat sounds. then all of a sudden i heard a quick paced beating sound. she told me that that was the baby. i just lied there shocked. then a smile kinda came across of my face. haha. so everytime she'd move the machine mic around and we'd hear the baby's quick paced beat i knew what it was. she figures that there are about 130 beats per minutes of its heart. and the normal range is 120-160. so its a good heartbeat. and that was basically all my appt was.

wow this is really happening. there really is a peanut growing in me. until now its always been something in my imagination. there was nothing tangible that i could connect to this baby and say, yeah i'm really pregnant. but now, theres an audible heartbeat. granted we needed the machine to hear it. i wonder if you can hear it with a stethescope..hmm guess i'll have to try that out and see. i wonder if we still have the stethescope. hmm. anyways.

i have 2 appts scheduled next month. june 11th i'll meet the delivering doctor, dr hannig. so that should be cool. then on the 21st i go in for the ultrasound. gonna see this lil peanut. guess i'll have to read up and see what to expect on what this baby should look like.

wish me luck and pray for me. my mom is gonna break the news to my dad this weekend. sunday when my dad comes home from church she's gonna tell him. so me and jac gotta disappear before he gets back. i'm a skurred. maybe jac and i should get a room at the barona hotel. hide out there. maybe make some money gambling before my dad kills me. heh. joke lang. about the killing part. anyhoo.

well thats the update on baby boober. its kinda cute. almost every day jermiah tries to hear for the baby's heartbeat with his naked ear...well now we know where to listen to. hah.

ok. thats it for now.

2004-04-21T12:34:00.000-07:00
greetings and salutations guys..well yesterday i went to my first actual prenatal appt. yeah not fun. the nurse practitioner was ok. so my appt was at 430pm. i got there and checked in and paid. woo hoo. so then after that i sat and waited. after about 20 minutes of watching yu-gi-oh or something like that on tv i got called in. the took my vitals. wth? i lost 3 lbs since my last appt. dude. i had gained 4 lbs from the time i got pregnant to my orientation meeting, and that was like a month and a half span. so then from april 7th til yesterday which was like 2 wks i lost 3 lbs. dang. but yeah. so then i had to watch this video called angela's story. its about preterm deliveries. signs to look out for and things like that. the story they gave about another girl going into preterm labor said that her daughter was 2 months early. i was 2 months early. but she said that her daughter was only 3lbs. i was normal. and when i heard that i wondered if i really was 2 months premature cause obviously i wasn't low birth weight..and rosemarie was also 2 months early and she weighed like 2 lbs at birth too..hmm things that make you go hmmm. anyhoo. so that video was cheesy. anyhoo. so the nurse wasn't ready to see me cause she still had like 2 other patients ahead of me. so i went back into the waiting room and watched more tv. i watched sabrina the teenage witch. hahah. so anyhoo. finally around 540pm i got called back in. so i had to have an entire examination. so not cool. but anyways. i got the results from the blood tests that they took from me last time. finally i know my blood type. its O+. hehe. and despite my weight my blood sugar was ok, so no diabetes for me. yayee!! so then came the exam. oh man. she totally pushed on my stomach hard. ang sakit. i still have residual pains from that now..how many hours later? but yeah. she told me that i was 9 weeks 7 days..which means on friday i'll be 10 weeks along. they don't count it from when i conceived, just when was my last period. dang. 2.5 months along. thats kinda hard to swallow. but thats the reality of it. they said that around 12 weeks that the baby's heart beat can be heard. so at my next appt they are gonna try to hear for the heart beat. wow. so thats something to look forward to. i also get to meet the delivering doctor, dr. hannig. so that would be cool. according to auntie letty he's a good doc. and she said that the maternity rooms at palomar hospital are like suites. one of these days i'll go and ask for a tour of the maternity ward at the hospital. and auntie letty already said that she's gonna keep an eye out for me when i do go into labor. hehe. wow. so yeah. finally at like 620pm i got out of my appt. i swear these appts are long. oh well. what are you gonna do.

so that was my latest appt for this baby. everything seemed to go well. nothing out of the ordinary, so i've been told. i just wished that these stomach pains would cease and deceased already. i get random pains in the center of my stomach. according to ross, its my uterus stretching. and my mom said that it was pretty normal too. i mentioned it at the appt and they didn't seem worried by it. so i guess i won't either. still tired as hell all the time. i don't like this fatigue. my stats teacher said that i have about another month of this then things should calm down. i'm hoping she's right.

well, til we meet again.

2004-04-18T21:53:00.000-07:00
so yeah...more people are finding out about me being pregnant. of course still not the fam or the dad. i suggested to mom telling dad next saturday while in vegas so that he can talk to papa nick, since papa nick has gone through this 5 times already. and mom thought about it, but then decided against it. she felt that with dad's personality he'll hold back his reactions cause of being in front of papa nick and auntie chaning. ok. which later became into an argument between me and mom about the relationship between me and my dad. i guess we will never be able to agree when it comes to him. i resent and hate my dad and in turn my dad hates and resents me. thats the way its been for years, and unfortunately thats how it will remain. no matter what i said about how i felt and how things came across to me, since i kid, my mom kept telling me that i was wrong. right or wrong, thats how i felt and thats how i feel. me and my dad will never be pals. we will always yell and scream and only talk when necessary. i honestly doubt that with this kid coming, that our relationship will ever change. he might be there for this kid the way i wanted him to be there for me...but he'll never be the father i wanted..or needed.

well my first real prenatal appt is this tuesday. *mental note : call the dr to see if rosemarie can be there with me* i'm suppose to have my first sonogram. so we can finally determine how far along i really am. cause as of today..i say that i'm 7 weeks 1 day. according to them 9 weeks 2 days. so yeah..although its only like a 2 week gap..to me thats a long time. i know this is probably not how i should be thinking..but..i also see this sonogram as proof that there is still a baby there. the thought that i can easily miscarry within the first 3 months still plays in the back of my mind. and except for the fatigue, there still hasn't been any real signs of pregnancy. i think, mentally, i need that confirmation to really get into the thought that this is truly my reality. i don't know. but yeah.

2004-04-17T11:59:00.000-07:00
i took this from shea's xanga..i think it applies more to me than him..heheh.

Love Your Children... Without Counting The Cost
Ernest Tan
4 February, 2004, The Straits Times

A recent estimate put the cost of raising a child from birth to age 18 at US$160,140 (S$275,440) for an American middle-income family. That doesn't even include college tuition.
But US$160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into US$8,896.66 a year, US$741.38 a month, or US$171.08 a week.

Still, you might think the best financial advise would be not to have children if you want to be "rich". However, the truth is just the opposite.

What do you get for the US$160,140? The following is what I read somewhere:

Naming rights. Glimpses of God every day. Giggles under the covers every night. More love than your heart can hold. Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs. Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies. A hand to hold, usually covered with jam.

A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, building sand castles, and skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain. Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For US$160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to finger-paint, play hide-and-seek, and never stop believing in Santa Claus. You have an excuse to keep reading the Adventures Of Pooh and watching Saturday-morning cartoons, going to Disney movies, and wishing on stars...

For US$160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off the bike, removing a splinter...

You get a front-row set to history to witness the first step, first word, first date, and first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and, if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren.

You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there with God. You have all the power to heal a booboo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.

2004-04-12T15:33:00.000-07:00
greetings one and all. i hope you didn't get too bored reading my first entry. but yeah that was somewhat of the run down of the last few weeks.

yesterday was easter. and being surrounded by the lil kids i found my anticipation growing immensely for when my child will be running around searching for eggs and what not. it never occurred to me that i would find myself in such anticipation and so quickly. i was fine when we got to inang's house. but when ate' annie and simon arrived that changed everything. seeing how much simon had grown in the few months since i have seen him just surprised me. he was so tall. almost as tall a mellvin. and he was having fun and just enjoying life. wow. and just found myself watching him and admiring him. and in my mind i wanted to say something about what i'm going through and how i can't wait for it to become a true reality. however i think i shot myself in the foot at the same time.
me: hey nikki when are you gonna pop one of those out?
nikki: hell nah. its enough work just watching them let alone having one for myself. what about you? you are older.
me: yeah but you have the boyfriend i don't.
auntie marie: what are you guys talking about?
me: just asked nicole when was she gonna start having kids.
auntie marie: what about you? you are older than her.
me: yeah but she has the boyfriend, i don't.
auntie marie: you know, you should go out with your kuya allan. (nikki's 1st cousin on her dad's side)
me: hell nah.
auntie marie: what? you aren't related to him. and he's about your age. and he's losing weight now and going to the gym.

yeah well that started the whole conversation about how i should date kuya allan, who is in the philippines i might add. sheesh. but the part that shot me in the foot is the whole talk about how i don't have the boyfriend to get pregnant and what not. and here i am talking as such knowing that i'm with child already. yeah. great job jess.

after awhile mellvin, mae mae and jasmine arrived too. wow mellvin is growing up. and it seems to so fast. and mae mae is soooo cute. jasmine's features are changing again..although i can do without the spoiled attitude. but while we were waiting for the reyes we were playing all these versions of the "otso otso" and the kids..and auntie marie..were dancing it. and it was sooo cute to watch. mellvin was doing it, simon was doing it...ever lil mae mae was doing her own lil version and she's only a year and half. she was sooo adorable. i wish i had it on video how cute she looked. but just watching them, my mind began to wonder who my child(ren) will be. that is if this pregnancy sustains. i am still in fear that this won't pan out. that i'm not meant to be a mother, yet, or ever for that matter. its only been a like 6-8 weeks. i can still miscarry very easily. i know i should think positively..but come on..hope for the best but expect the worst. i think part of what is fostering this fear is that i don't really feel different except for the whole fatigue thing. i haven't had morning sickness..although i'm hoping that is something that never hits me. but there really hasn't been anything significant to say..YES JESS YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE A MOTHER! i mean i know i talked about signs and what not earlier but nothing physical to reassure me that this is a reality. granted i know that its still early in the pregnancy. and i guess i'll feel less scared about it when i see the sonogram next tuesday. but still.

its weird though. those of you that know me, even remotely, well know that i don't like being the center of attention. the focus of the group or whatever. and yet here i am smack dab in the middle. everyone always asks how i'm doing and how the baby is doing. i have others trying to take care of me...cough..jane..cough..and making sure i eat and what not. and now to add to the list of guards is jermiah to make sure i take my prenatal vitamins since i really suck at taking them. the inability to remember to take pills kinda helped contribute to this new situation i'm in. but yeah.

the other night i talked to han. i feel bad for her. she's caught between her loyalty to me as friend and the loyalty to her brother and family in this situation. she tries to make sure things are right but she can only do so much. without her brother's support, there is really not much she can do. but she wanted to know my emotions and fears and what not. i tried to explain them to the best of my ability but i just scratched the surface. to me, they seemed like rather normal type fears associated with pregnancy..first pregnancy at that. the fears that something might go wrong with the pregnancy, much like i referred to earlier. or that there might be something wrong with the baby. or that i'm not capable of taking care of this child the way he/she needs to be taken cared of. i know i'm gonna get my ass kicked for what i'm about to say..but..sometimes i wonder if quan is right. maybe i'm in no position to parent a child now. maybe i am being foolish and selfish and unreasonable...ok just to save him some face..he didn't say the "unreasonable" part. but still. at the same time, this is one of those situations that you really don't know what you are capable of until you are faced with the challenge head on. i won't know what type of parent i will be and my parenting abilities til this kid is out and living amongst us. yeah. basically i go through each day with uncertainty and fear. but what can you do about it, right? right.

ok enough of my babble. til my next novel..hah =)

2004-04-10T10:35:00.000-07:00
welcome to the chronical of this journey of mine called pregnancy...here is where you can find out the haps on me...for example
- morning sickness (thank God none of that so far)
- physical wellbeing
- emotional wellbeing
- drs appts
- misc stuff

so enjoy...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Well here i am on april 10th. its been a lil over 3 weeks since i found out about being pregnant. its been an interesting 3 weeks. lets see..lets recap the last few weeks..
well here is what i originally posted on my blog back on march 17th about the whole finding out and what not..but it was later taken down cause we weren't telling the family yet...

just when you think the whirlwind you are in the center of is gonna finally stop, a single test can flip you upside down and speed that whirlwind right up.

i didn't think my life could get possibly get any more complicated and stressful. but apparently i was greatly mistaken. in my last entry i talked about how my role as "mommy"/"ate'" has changed. and in a sense my role as "mommy" has ended. yet, it seems as though GOD has just decided to change the realm of which i'm to hold the role of "mommy". wow that totally sounds weird. well i hope you get it. basically my fears were confirmed tuesday, twice. on the way to school my mind was totally consumed by the possibility of being pregnant. i had spent a lil more than the last 2 weeks just waiting, in fear and uncertainty, to see if this was to be my reality. and yet i had roughly another 24 hours to find out. but my anticipation got the best of me. on my way to school i stopped by longs and bought a test. so when i got to school i took the test. appropriately enough, don't you think? eh. anyhoo. so i went upstairs to the bathroom by the student lounge in hopes of being alone in the bathroom. and for the most part that was the case. so i take the test. i'm standing there, finding it harder to breathe as each moment passes. i look at the test and i see the pink line forming. its not as dark as the control line but its definitely there. needlesstosay i'm freaking out. so i take off running down the stairs and go to the back side of the dome cause thats where nik, rhona and teresa are sitting. i call for teresa to come outside and show her the test. she knew of my dilema for some time. and i asked her to tell me that the test was not showing what i thought it was showing. of course she couldn't lie to me. but instead hugged me. OMG!!!! so yeah the rest of the day was filled with emotions running rampant simultaneously. let jermiah, jane pearl and rosemarie know about the results. so yeah, going to class was not an option. and i still had to study for todays psych testing midterm. yeah not cool. oddly enough i was able to take some notes for awhile. i'm suprised that i was able to concentrate as intently as i did. hmm go figure. so rosemarie was in the library studying so jermiah and i head over there so i can talk to her. i tried studying myself. got another 2 pages of notes done. but started to fall asleep. so when jermiah came back from walking rosemarie to class we headed towards the dome. i heard music coming from founder's plaza and i asked jermiah what was going on. he told me it was a health faire or something like that. thats means that cathy would be there. so we head up there and i find cathy and talk to her and we schedule a test at 230pm. so basically for the next hour and half i wait in anticipation and continuously whimper. thanks jermiah for listening to me whimper that whole time. so jermiah leaves around 215pm. i wait for pam to drop off rosemarie's gift then the 2 of us walk to the parking lot. so i go to cathy's office. after checking in she administers the uhg test. basically the urine pregnancy test. so with this test, again the line starts to form but not really dark. cathy wants to say negative but decides to check with the other nurses just in case. and immediately they said that it was positive, that i'm indeed pregnant. WTF???!!!!??!?!!?!!?! yeah now i'm freaking out. oh man. and wouldn't you know it, i went to the this alone. so after talking to cathy and getting my confirmation letter i start heading back to school. jane pearl calls me to check on me and i tell her the news. congrats? yeah. i don't know. so i meet up with her at the end of her break and we talk a bit. i text teresa, diana, and jermiah. i call up pam. yeah..the more i talk about it the more chaos seems to be brewing in my head. i saw ali and told her too. then rosemarie gets out of class. i sit her down next to me and tell her the news for sure. yeah. i was kinda hoping she'd start crying...so maybe i would. but yeah that didn't happen. generally from this point on its a matter of telling ppl. i text joy and tell her. she calls me back. so then 5pm hits and its time to go home. as i go to give jane a hug she hugs me then says bye to my stomach. hello?? can you say hit smack dab in the face with reality? oh man. so then i take rosemarie to the gym to get her stuff then drop her off at her car. then supposedly head home. i call up trish and let her know my status. yeah. i exit ted williams and instead of getting off at black mtn road i continue towards the 5 north and head to encinitas. while driving i talk to cousin on the phone. yeah.. i seem to be saying "yeah" alot. yeah. it was good to talk to cousin. i love the fact that no matter what mess i get myself into she's always right there for me. so i arrive at hopstar and walk in. startle joy cause she didn't know i was on my way. so yeah. after a bunch of diddle daddling around and being give jobs by mrs h joy and i go to jack and the box for dinner. yayee!! tacos. scratch that off my list now. slowly but surely i'm scratching things off that list. yayee!! yeah. that begins an intense conversation that lasted for a long while. in the middle we called rosemarie and she got to listen to me and joy just being dorks. its all good though. so finally after a really intense conversation i go on my way home. don't have the guts to tell mom yet. plan..wednesday tell mom...when i get home quan is waiting. that is just a fiasco in itself. i'm not gonna even bother discussing that..its just a really GRRR situation. so after that emotional rollercoaster i come inside and talk to rosemarie on the phone. yeah. broke down into tears for a brief moment. damn. told a couple of more ppl about my chaos. then went to sleep. was too damn tired mentally, physically, and emotionally. yeah didn't study for psych testing anymore either. dammit.

"you used to captivate me
by your resonating life
now I'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts
my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away
all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase "
~ My Immortal by Evanesence

so today has been odd. more ppl are finding out. apparently i have 3 guards now. jane is in charge of my academics, rosemarie is in charge of keeping me on lockdown, and borasy is in charge of my diet. interesting. yeah at the last 15 minutes before the psych testing midterm i decide not to take it. our lowest grade is dropped anyways. so this will be mine. jane, rosemarie, borasy and i sat there thinking of possible names. ok that was scary in itself. but kinda cool to hear different names and what not. as of now, i think i'm partial to the name tristan. thats was kinda cool. someone also suggested justin alexander. interesting. ah. grr.. jane, ali and i went to wendy's so i can try the mandarine chicken salad. that was good. so then came back. jane went to class and i chilled with ali and jermiah. paul visited us for a bit too. ended up at the table next to psych testing and stats teacher. as she left she looked at me and asked if everything was ok. i told her no then filled her in. and explained my extended absence from class. she understood. so that was cool. yeah. then jermiah left and borasy and nik came around. proofed nik's paper. chatted a bit then headed home. talked to rosemarie on the phone cause i kinda fell asleep while driving and when i awoke i almost plowed into the car in front of me. yeah very not cool. so i came home. chatted a bit then took a nap around like 4pm. yeah didn't wake up til 730pm. felt good. chatted some more. went and got me some dinner at beijing. yummy apple chicken and salted squid. yummy!! then chatted some more. talked to pam on the phone. that was cool. it was reassuring to hear that her and rosemarie felt that they respected me for my decision to keep this baby. it kinda helped my mind some. i mean i hope i'm doing the right thing. and the best thing. but who knows. after that took another nap from like 1030pm til 1130pm. then i went to work. told ross and gaylene the news. ross was really cool about it. and i'm glad. so here i am at 4am still unsure of what the future holds for me and this new life growing in me. but i guess only time will tell. and tomorrow i have to tell my mom that she's gonna be a grandma, for reals this time. not cause my cousins are having kids. oh man. i hope this doesn't devastate her. yeah.

til next time.....if there is a next time

Friday, March 19, 2004

well told mom tonight. been nervous about it all day. while i was driving home from school i was on the phone with jac. and while talking to her we mentioned grace. and so i called her and she agreed to come up and help me break the news to my mom. so was nervous and anxious until grace and jenn got here. then after chatting for a bit grace finally segwayed into it. ironically we were watching ER and the scene on the tv at that moment was when Abby was looking at the pregnancy chart and telling a girl her due date. dude...perfect. so yeah i told my mom. she was calm about it. of course i'm sure she'll be all "auuugghhh" once it settles in. so the 4 of us talked for a long time. its cool. its gonna be a task to tell my dad. still gotta figure out when that will happen. til then.. EVERYONE PLS DONT TELL ANYONE IN MY FAMILY!!! yeah. so thats cool. 2 hard tasks down and just 1 to go. hmmm...
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at this point friends at school and affiliated with know. its talked about freely. jane is like robocop on me. but its cool. so my bday came and went during these past few weeks as well. it was fun. unfortunately my annual trip to magic mountain had to be cancelled due to the fact that i can't be on rollercoasters. sucky. as far as family is concerned...mom, jac, cheryl, rich, carmen, grace and the sison family, auntie chaning, papa nik, princess, shawn, kristina, marc, mattie, quinn, cathy, and tin are the ones that know. i wonder if i can name everyone that knows...hmm...lets try..sorry this list might be long...rosemarie, jermiah, rhona, jane pearl, ali, trish, teresa, clare, diana, joseph, andrew, nik, randy, katie, pam, trish, joy, becky, dee, ryan, shar, jessica, jeanette, vinnie, chris h, glenda, anton, chris p, ron, mike, auntie letty r, jenn r, uncle mario r, punita, yuo, han, duh..quan, megan, mbarak, brian, leezel, paul, menchie, arnell, borasy, maricel, nimitz, leslie, dr thomas, sarah, christa, rj, jon, ross, jaime, sandy, gaylene, mariana, fay, jody, sue, tamara, ed, and sherwin.

well on wednesday april 7th i went to my first drs appt at planned parenthood in escondido. after waiting for an hour and half and watching friends i finally go in. i was filling out paperwork forever and a day. sheesh. i had to drink this 10oz glucose drink that tasted like sunkist soda. then an hour later started all the tests. i had to give a urine sample..sorry..but i'm not sure why..then they took like 6 vials of blood. i know that 1 was for hiv testing, another was to find out my blood type, another is for the glucose results to make sure i'm not diabetic and the other ones i don't know. hmm. well my next appt is on april 20th. i think i'm suppose to have the first sonogram so they can find out exactly how far along i am. cause i thought i was 5 weeks but apparently according to the chart i'm 8 weeks now. so i don't know. i've gained 4 lbs since getting pregnant. i'm on prenatal folic acid vitamins. i've signed paperwork for palomar hospital in escondido. if all goes well then everything will cost me $3000.

before i found out for sure..we kinda referred to this possible kid in the female tense. she/her and stuff like that. but as soon as it was confirmed we suddenly started referring to it in a male sense, he/him. interesting. well yesterday in the mail i got an ad for men's wearhouse. it said "Help your son prepare for Prom 2004 by having him check out this handy guide!" wth? i don't have a son.....or do i? hah. so i guess time will tell.

well this is the end of the recap cause my head hurts now from thinking..so til we meet again